This post may contain affiliate links, which means I'll receive a commission if you purchase through my link, at no extra cost to you. Please read full disclosure here.
The Psychological Effect of Hair Loss...
Hair loss can be psychologically damaging. It may cause someone intense emotional suffering, impact personal relationships, and even cause issues in social settings.
I have experienced the psychological impact of hair loss from androgenic alopecia firsthand...Losing my hair felt like a loss of my own identity. So often we associate long, and thick hair with femininity...But I didn't have that...I felt like I would not be accepted or that I would be unlovable by a partner because of my hair loss.
Some days I'd even have trouble looking at myself in the mirror. How was I still a woman? I felt like I needed to hide who I was and that feeling was soo sooooo heavy to carry around. I wrote this post to discuss the tools that I use to help me feel better and I'm hoping there might be something in here that helps you too.
For me I know I've struggled with thoughts like..."Why am I not normal?" There have been times where I've even avoided social events because I felt like my hair topper wasn't sitting right on my head. I had so much anxiety and fear over whether someone else would be able to tell and my cover would be blown...
I'm currently really happy with my hair regrowth progress but just like treatments for hair loss, having better days takes consistent effort over the long-term to see results.
If you are struggling with anxiety and depression, or if you're feeling unlovable, and unworthy I hope you know that you are not alone. Don't be afraid to reach out to someone and ask for help. The only way others can know you're in pain is if you speak up.
If you're worried about your mental health it's definitely worth bringing up with your physician too! Don't be afraid to have the conversation!
1. Starting with self love...And monitoring your self-talk...
Sometimes when I look in the mirror and see my areas of thinning around my head I notice my self-talk can be very unkind. I have to check myself to really reel it in. Then I switch out whatever negative thought for a positive one and give myself a compliment.
There's no need to put yourself down...You're doing the best you can.
What are you saying to yourself when you look in the mirror and see your areas of hair loss? Is it kind? Is it loving? If not...you may want to try trading the thought for one that's more positive.
I was on the reddit female hair loss group one night when I stumbled across an amazing post by a woman documenting her experience with hair loss from androgenic alopecia...
She posed this question: "What would you say if you met yourself?" More specifically she wanted to know what kind of person are you? Just someone with hair loss? Is that your only attribute? Of course not. Ask yourself what are the things that make you special? What makes you come alive? How do you lift up those around you when they're down? What kind of a friend are you? She then discussed how people will find your talents, your character, your passions...much more interesting than the fact that you have hair loss.
Looks fade over time, hair thins and greys....but building something substantial out of your life.. Something you can be proud of... that's what it's all about.
And always remember that giving to others isn't just an awesome act of kindness...It may also contribute to our own state of health and well-being. And the positive feelings we experience from the event may be sustained for longer than if we just did something nice for ourselves.
Give it a try!
2. Next up...You Guessed It...Gratitude as a way to combat the psychological effects of hair loss...
At the start of Covid I decided to take that free course on Coursera developed by Yale University called, The Science of Well-Being.
Just a little background on me...I've never been someone that found hapiness to be easily obtainable. I don't just wake up super stoked...It's something I've always had to work hard at even before losing my hair.
So I wanted to learn more tools that I could implement daily to be happier. I think putting in that work has really helped me get to where I am today and I encourage you to search for tools as well. One key take-away from the course was Gratitude. We hear that so much...But how many of us actually take a moment to really experience what we're grateful for?
I also started to focus on "savoring" which I find helps keep me in the moment. For example: taking part in a positive experience and then savoring that experience. I try to think about why it makes me happy and write that down.
As part of this process I picked up The 5 Minute Journal which I've linked below. I've really enjoyed using this journal because of how the pages are laid out.
At the top of a page is an inspirational quote. Then a few prompts like: What am I grateful for? (Write 3 items), What would make today great? (Write 3 items), then Daily Affirmations. In the evenings I write in the notebook before I go to bed and the prompts are: 3 Amazing things that happened today, and How could I have made today better?
Another method I have tried is to actually imagine a really horrible situation. I know that sounds intense lol.
But I try to put my hair loss into perspective by comparing it to other things that I think would be much harder to deal with emotionally. Then I think..."Wellp at least it's just my hair loss and not this other thing..." Or I think about how other people would switch places with me in a second to just be dealing with hair loss.
I definitely still struggle with the anxiety and the lows that come with having hair loss. But doing these intentional and effortful activities everyday have had such a powerful effect on my own happiness.
3. Get out in nature...Feel that sun on your face as a way to combat the psychological effects of hair loss...
I don't know if it's because I just watched that documentary The Alpinist on Netflix, or what... But...I"ve been super pumped about hiking.
I have been going a ton recently and have really noticed a positive impact on my mental health.
When I'm out there on a hike I feel connected with nature and notice that it's almost meditative for me. I'm not focused on my hair loss or wondering if my hair-fibers are staying in place. I'm taking in my surroundings and feeling the wind in my hair and the sun warming my body.
With Covid so many of us are staying inside more. I'd encourage you to grab a water bottle and carve out some time to connect with nature, or just make it a point to get outside and take a stroll.
4. Join a support group as a way to combat the psychological effects of hair loss...
On facebook, instagram, and reddit you can find all sorts of groups including alopecia support groups for women. Or even just general support groups for female hair loss.
Why not just talk to my friends?
Sometimes you just want to connect with someone who can actually relate to what you're going through.
I have a really wonderful and supportive group of girl friends. But out of my group, I'm the only one that is experiencing hair loss.
Now don't get me wrong... They're always helpful to talk to about my hair loss issues but I usually don't bring it up to them very often...In general, I've always been pretty private about my hair struggles... Which is why they were so surprised when I told them in November that I was launching a blog on the subject and would be featuring my own bald spots as part of the content.
At times it can feel isolating when you're the only one stressing out about how windy it is outside because you don't want it to blow your hair topper off your head...Or worrying about whether the person you're dating is going to freak out and bail when you disclose your hair loss...
I have sometimes felt a sense of shame about my hair loss...
Even when I'm around my close girl friends I always feel like I need to have my areas of hair thinning covered up with hair fibers or fill-in powder, just so I can feel "normal..." Or even just seem normal to them...
They always tell me they don't care...But for some reason I've still felt that intense shameful kind of feeling.
When you visit these support groups you can find women proudly sharing their alopecia stories and not hiding their hair loss.
These women are out in the open, bald spots exposed... talking into the camera. They're sharing tips and tricks for things like how to create a messy bun while wearing a wig, how to get your hair topper to blend-in with your hairline, sharing treatment options, along with tons of inspirational quotes and messages.
Let's go back to the feeling of shame for a second...
So feeling that feeling sucks... But here's something that might help...I'm not sure if you're familiar with the work of Dr. Brene Brown, but she has some great insights on shame.
I really encourage you to check out her Ted talks. In one of them Brown discussed how empathy is the antidote for shame. She explained how shame needs three things to grow exponentially in our lives: secrecy, silence, and judgement.
I think that keeping quiet about my hair loss had really helped my shame grow over the years. I was doing all three of those things she mentioned. But talking about it on my blog or in these support groups and receiving empathy has been a total game changer. It has helped me to realize I'm not alone.
Now, I'm not saying my feelings of shame are gone...But this has been exercise that has made me feel a little happier....and a little lighter.
The female hair loss community is also such a compassionate community of women who are up-lifting to one another. Being part of these groups has helped to change my outlook on hair loss. There's seriously so so so many of us out there.
Here are a few community's on reddit you may want to consider: Ladies with hair loss, hair loss progress pics, hairloss, alopecia
Here are a few on facebook you may want to consider: Alopecia Support Group, Alopecia Awareness, Alopecia Support, Female Pattern Hair Loss and Alopecia Help and Support, Female Hair Loss & Wellness Community etc.
Here are a few accounts on instagram you may want to consider following for hair loss inspo. I've learned so much about wigs and toppers from these women along with self-love and overall confidence: @hairlossgirlboss, @alopecia_fashionista, @losinghair_notheart, @kaywearswigs
5. Meet up or talk with with friends/family as a way to combat the psychological effects of hair loss...
In my experience, when I'm feeling down or insecure about my hair loss I usually just want to hide. I'll stay in and isolate myself from others. Maybe it's a bad hair day and I don't feel comfortable with how I look, or maybe I'm stressed because my scalp is peeling like I'm a snake shedding its skin after my microneedling treatment...
Who knows lol...
But opening up more to my friends and talking to them about my hair loss has really been a positive experience.
People that really care about your well-being can be such a comfort during those hard times. Let those close to you in on how you're felling!
6. Play an up-beat song and dance like no ones watching as a way to combat the psychological effects of hair loss...
I'm sure you're well aware of the effect music can have on our mood.
Now we have access to unlimited streaming services and music is more convenient to access then ever.
If I'm in a down place over my hair loss then I'll sit with those emotions for a bit and recognize them. Then I'll usually get up and start moving a bit to some up-beat music.
I think getting my body out of this stationary state and dancing to a song that makes me feel good is really comforting.
7. Get your sweat on with some exercise...
Whether you're hiking, biking, lifting weights, doing yoga... whatever...Just make sure you're moving your body.
When have you ever come back from a workout and said, "Wow I really regret that..."
Probably never. (Unless you went to the gym right after eating Taco Bell). No judgement.
So pack a water bottle and pull on your favorite pair of stretchy pants and go for it!
8. Get your sleep...
For as long as I can remember I've always been a night owl. It's when I have all my best ideas and I've noticed it can be tough for me to simply unplug and go to bed.
We all know sleep impacts our mood and I have noticed when I have a good night sleep I feel less anxious the next day.
I totally subscribe to this idea of: Change the way you feel...Change your life.
If you're eating right, exercising, and getting a good night sleep it's going to change how you feel. When you change how you feel, this may impact the decisions you make (change your life).
(Sorry that I just went full Tony Robbins)
But bottom line... Sleep is so important for both our physical and mental health so I take it seriously.
What I've developed is a sleep routine that I try my best to follow every night. Some of these tips I read from Tim Ferris. If you've never heard of him before let me tell you... He's an entrepreneur, investor, author, podcaster, and life-style guru...
After adopting some of his practices for better sleep I've noticed a huge impact on my own sleep quality.
Here we go...
I stop all caffeine by 4pm.
About and hour to an hour and a half before bed I put my phone away for the night. (That way I'm limiting my exposure to the light of my electronic devices).
About an hour before bed I take a warm bath with Epsom salts and have a glass of ice water nearby to drink.
Ice water + a warm bath = major luxury to me...
Give it a try.... I'm telling you. It's the best! I got my friends into this routine too!
The Epsom salts I use are linked below and you can also find them HERE. Yes. This really is a 19 pound bag... (I use one cup for my bath every night so I buy in bulk lol).
After my bath I like to sip on this herbal tea that I have linked below. When I'm drinking it I'm thinking, "This is what the forest must taste like." That might sound gross to you but I'm telling you...I look forward to it every night. I will also add just a bit of honey. Then I read for a few minutes before finishing up with writing in my gratitude journal mentioned in Number 2.
I also always wear a sleep mask because I sleep the best when it's pitch black. You can find my favorite linked below.
And I use a "white noise" machine which creates a uniform sound that is perfect for masking loud noises.
I live downtown so I'm always hearing car alarms or heavy bass. Turn it down! (Shakes fist in the air angrily)
I've linked my favorite machine below and when I travel I use an app called "Better Sleep" which has tons of different sounds to choose from.
